Thursday, 21 August 2008

A few home truths before we get to the meat...


With a healthy precedent established of lying cheating, stealing, deviating, avoiding, and generally just not getting things right in the standard ordinary everyday acceptable way, I’ve found that old age is forcing me to believe in those tediously simplistic and under-entertaining values, but paradoxically I am finding it harder not easier to adhere to them myself, as 35 years of training in the fine art of sticking two fingers up at any kind of controlling authoritative voice is tantamount to “giving in to the man!” man


There is great artistry and a wealth of trial and tribulation that I lovingly called character building suffering (but that others would probably describe as mindless pig-headedness) that has gone into the fruity and deliciously unusual notes that flavour my ways and means through your conformist world, but that’s no reason to start bleating about my efforts on your behalf.


The world you inhabit has no time for the positive. Anything that is up to your standard is taken for granted. You only have time to moan about anything which isn’t sufficient, acceptable, up to scratch, good enough, right, or valuable. But here’s where your world stinks a little more like the putrid lie that it really is...


Not only do you ONLY highlight what’s wrong AND take the good for granted, but you don’t bloody do anything about your gripes. Have another cup of tea, sit back, and MOAN. That’s your way and that’s your excuse for accepting what amounts to some of the shabbiest standards in what is allegedly a world leader of a nation.


Hold on... what am I saying... you know this already. This is something you airheads are proud of. Insulting foreigners, eating third rate tasteless food, drinking yourselves into oblivion every Friday night to escape the tedium of your mundane and valueless lives whilst moaning some more about all the things you hate but can’t be arsed to do anything about.


That’s right Britai, Stand proud and tall in a bucket of sewage, with your shirt hanging out rebelliously and your tie half done up at an angle. Football under one arm religiously cradled to protect its inherent value to your tiny little mind.


As the sewage castle you’ve fashioned from the discarded detritus of your consumer-choice obsessed, throw away culture and the turds you hoped would go away but didn’t, slowly collapses round your ankles and you panic about recession and the declining value of your way of life, just remember this one small point...


I have been shouting “Wake up!” in your ears for years now. You only have yourselves to blame for being a down trodden bunch of losers with a football obsession!


If you think you can handle the truth, don’t forget to subscribe to further editions of “The Desk of the Sell-Out Generation”.


If you are any of the above including obese, stupid, boring, racist, conservative, close-minded, dull, dim, a BMW owner, insensitive, or just not smart enough to understand what I’m saying, then please please please unsubscribe. The intelligent people round here don’t want your window-licking stupidity and blank moon-faced thick little attitudes cluttering up what could be a great, productive and interesting conversation.


And if you want to know what any of that means, STOP READING THE BLOODY SUN and try a newspaper with words in it!


Carry on.

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