Thursday, 21 January 2010

From the Desk of the Sell-Out Generation...

The Desk may have to be wound up folks.

For reasons known only to the editor and the readership it seems we have been a victim of our own success... Ha ha Pffffftttssstttt OH SHIT, bugger just sprayed my keyboard with coffee laughing at that.

It seems that times have drifted past the present and into the future. There is no more "dreaming about what the internet can bring". We already know. Porn, Spam, Rolling News Inaccuracy, and more Porn.

The French are releasing Electric cars just to be the first and to piss off the Americans who are wallowing in the sump drainage of their defunct Oil Addiction.

The Brits are finally coming to terms with the fact that they are NOT civilised. They are NOT a polite nation of people who follow the rules either. The British are the most hypocritical and selfish of all, made only worse by the fact that they are as spineless as its possible to be without actually flopping onto the floor and wobbling.

Desperate tokenism when it comes to the environment whilst jet-setting on multiple international holidays. Producing over 350 different types of re-usable bag for shopping with, then leaving the damm things in their gas guzzling 4x4's and using plastic bags anyway. YOU PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS! Demanding ethical behaviour from their MPs and then not actually holding them to account. Frantically screaming for Blair's blood and then when "an inquiry" is the best they get, do they care, complain or fight for what is right... no they bloody put the kettle on don't they.

Sellafield is returning Nuclear Waste to Japan, and instead of cheering the fact that it is leaving their shores, the British Enviro mob are now moaning that it shouldn't travel... either you want it here or you don't... make up your sodding minds. Add stupidity to the British way.

I seem to be listing the problem's that brought the desk about in the first place. The mindless complacency, apathy, hypocrisy and laziness of this entire country. I would list the good things you have to offer, but at the moment, they don't justify the atrocious general demeanour you present to the world so you don't get the balance of their benefit of that until you have improved your ways.

No, the real reason the Desk may have to wind itself up is that times have moved on, and there is nothing cutting edge, forward thinking nor worthwhile reading in a form or forum that is saturated with the same whinging and crabbing.

Because its so commonplace nowadays, with Blog Journos, Online E-NewsCasts, PodcastBlogcasts, and the limlitlessly stupid Twitter you aren't listening any more. The words don't actually register on your tissue paper thin attention spans, because were they to alight there for longer than a mere millisecond's duration, they'd probably crash through it tearing an irreparable hole in your train of thought that would leave you dribbling and licking peanuts cos the taste reminded you of something you licked when you were about 9 months old.

The Desk will stand as a symbol, gathering the dust of your dandruff-encrusted passing and providing you with something to lean against as the momentous-ness of your little world wobbles along. But this, the final entry of note, acts to send out a beacon of distress. The year is 2010. The Month, January. The Day is Thursday, the 21st. It is 12:58 despite what the entry reads. Britain is a nation of losers waiting to die. It is a nation of lying politicians, hypocritical idealists, morons with mobiles and selfish OAPs who are clinging to the laurels of the generation that experienced a war... how little the next generation of old people have to lean on, and they are only just realising how much damage they have done, with no "War-experience" insurance policy to justify their disgrace.

The world will turn and the news will follow it, watch this space for news to come.

Please don't go on any further until you have thought about it.

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